Crazy love and 2009

It has been awhile since I put any thoughts down. I have so much I want to ramble on about but I have limited time. So here is a quick version of what I have been thinking about...

First of all I was reading the Bible this morning and came across these verses in Gen 15:1-3 "After this the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: 'Do not be afraid Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward. ' But Abram said 'O Sovereign Lord, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?' And Abram said, 'You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir'"

As I was reading this with groggy eyes this morning I stopped after verse 1 and thought 'wow, God's promises are great". Then I read the next few verses and realized that Abram did not feel that way since he did not have a son. As I was walking my dog later I started to think about that. I am the same way... God has given me so many blessings, so many promises and all I can do is complain.

God gave Abram a promise and all Abram could do is look around and say "how are you going to do this God. I don't have a son..." Do I respond the same way?? I want God to give me a roadmap, show me the website that has all of the steps to your plan for my life. I want to see every step of your plan before I trust you God. Do I look around and question God about his plan because it does not make sense to me? Can I just cling to verse one of this chapter and believe that God is faithful? I don't have all of the answers, in fact I doubt I have any answers right now about God's will for my life. But I want to learn how to (as Pastor Jeff mentioned the other day) breath in and out the presence of God. I just want to be consumed with him so that I understand that every step is ordered by God.

Second thing I wanted to mention is that I finished the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. This book describes a life of total surrender and worship of a God who is worthy of all praise. This book made me think about a lot of different things. I realized that I was so caught up in trying to run my life. It was clear to me that a life that is not lived for God is very much a life lived in vain.

One of the things he mentioned a lot in the book is about joy in giving. I was amazed to read that his church gives 50% of their tithes to other ministries, missions, etc. They decided to scale down a building project so they would have more to give. What an amazing way to live your life. I have worked so long with people that made a lot of money and all they did was build big houses, drive expensive cars, spend, spend, spend. And these people are some of the most miserable people you will ever meet. I don't want to live a life of making money, buying a lot of nice stuff for myself and then dying. I want to live a life of total surrender to God. I want each day to be a day lived for him. It struck me again during the holiday season that Jesus did not live a life of luxury. But each day he was surrendered to the Father's will. And what an exciting life he lived!

That is the exciting life I want to live. Probably won't make me rich, probably won't be comfortable, probably won't make sense most of the time but if I am consumed by God then I will cling to his promises and enjoy the ride!!!!!!