What a difference a day makes!

Wow, I feel like my old self again today. God's grace is so wonderful and I am realizing that my up and down feelings do not change who God is and what he has promised. For some reason yesterday Kayla started singing "Oh no you never let go through the calm and through the storm. " that was actually a song we sang at VBS this last summer. Lorri and I looked at each other and said wow what an appropriate song! :)

I definitely know that God has me in the right company. Yesterday..I guess as a confirmation I received word that one of the customers I was going after may start using us. This could be a huge customer for me and my office. Plus it will provide a lot of commission for me each month! nothing is in stone yet but it looks promising. Plus I had several great contacts yesterday and some more things are moving forward. Plus I may have a partner in a few months working with me in this office. A friend of mine has agreed that he wants to join up in a few months and work with me to grow this office. So there are a lot of exciting things coming up and once these start rolling I will not have the financial worries that I have now.

So now I just need to keep trusting and not let emotions take over. I am sure I will be tested in that regard many more times!

emotions

I had a great time this morning having breakfast with Al. There were a lot of great things that we pointed out but thinking on my 20 second drive back to my house :) I realized I have been letting my emotions control me these last few days. Emotions are obivously important in life and I don't want to be detached from them but once they start controling my actions then there is a problem. for instance, yesterday was a very unproductive day for me because I let my emotions about what is happening to me financially control my mood and my actions. I have an awesome opportunity to start an office here in Buffalo for a large logistics company. An awesome opportunity with a great future but I need to spend my time right now bringing in new business. That needs to be my only focus during the day for the next several months. My emotions cannot keep me from the job I know I can do successfully if I focus.

Plus I realized that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and FOREVER! Jesus does not change just because I don't feel good about something. I need to keep my emotions in check with the facts. Fact: Jesus never changes...he is always there. My emotion: God where are you...why are you not here now. Why can't I FEEL you here. reality: Jesus did not change and I am letting my emotions control me. Just as Jesus used scripture as he was being tempted I need to remind myself during the day the truths of God and his blessings. I need to remind myself of the talents and ablities he gave me and stop letting emotions control me!

I think it is funny too how I want instant results. God I want to feel better now! I think about my daughters and how I would do anything for them but there are certain things that they want that I will not let them have because it is not good for them. Kayla would love to have candy every night for dinner. I could say ok Kayla, I want you to be happy so I will let you have candy everynight. Obiviously the results of that would be horrible. I think there are many times that I ask God for candy and cry when he does not let me have what I want. But the results of me having the candy that I think is so important right now would be much more horrible than Kayla eating too much candy. I need to realize that and thank God for his blessings!

first post

first post about what is going on in my life and some of my crazy thoughts!

This was an up and down weekend...I have come face to face with some looming problems that sooner or later I know I needed to address. Mostly some financial issues that have been a nagging problem for many years. I will be happy to face these issues and resolve them once and for all.

One of the things I have realized this weekend is how much I love the family God has blessed me with! Sometimes I get so caught up in my life that I don't notice these beautiful people God has placed right in my house. When I worked out in Buffalo there were days I did not even see Kayla. And when I did get to see her I was tired, stressed out and no fun. I am thankful that I am able to see her so much more now. I even have the joy of taking her to school each day! I could never have dreamed of doing that before.

But I still complain...why can't I be thankful for the life God has given me? Why do I think I want to go back to way things were before because they were comfortable? Do I not believe that God has me in a much better situation now but I just need to roll up my sleeves and get to work. Why am I afraid of that when that is how I got to where I was before? And now I have a much, much better opportunity.

God is doing a work in me...molding, shaping me but it can be a painful process.