I must decrease so he can increase

I must decrease so he can increase............. That is hard for me...... It is not hard just because I want everyone to notice me and think I am great. Although I admit I have struggled with that. I am at a place where that is slowly dying. I have been through a lot this past year and have basically have had the rug pulled out from everything that I thought was so important about who I am...career wise, as a leader, financially, etc.

I am just starting to understand the new name of my blog...constant surrender... When someone surrenders they have their hands up and open. In this position you cannot hold on to anything and you are very exposed. When I am in constant surrender to God I cannot hold onto anything on my own. I have nothing to give except myself...everything exposed...

But I have to admit that is hard to do. I am surrendered, I am decreasing, everything I thought was so important is now just rags. Where is the glory in this? It seems like everyday I feel the exposure and I am not always sure how to handle it. I want to put my arms down to defend myself and what I think is important.

I must decrease so he can increase. I must decrease so he can increase... what does that really mean to me? I must truly lay everything, everything! down. I must give up everything for the sake of Christ. I must be like the man who sold everything he had to buy the pearl of great price. I have said those words so many times in the last 15 years or so. Have I really meant it? I mean it now... And I am realizing that it is a very hard thing to do.

But the joy of knowing Christ is far, far more valuable than ANYTHING on earth. Yesterday I was playing on the worship team at church and was getting choked up when I was singing "Made to Worship". "...you and I are made to worship, you and I are called to love, you and I are forgiven and free. When you and I embrace surrender, You and I choose to believe, You and I will see how we were meant to be."

When I surrender I give up all rights to running my life...I give up control...I give up thinking that I know what is best for me. But I give it up to the creator of all I see. The glorious, awesome, powerful God who holds the universe in his hands. This God wants me to give up the rags that I have clung to for so long and become what he wants me to be. This awesome, amazing God who brought me out of death into his glorious life wants me to give him all I have...is that worth it to me? I think so.....